Today has been very difficult for me.

Little Fez ("Fezzie"), my 5-month-old kitten, had to be put down this afternoon. I am absolutely heartbroken.

He was a really great kitten. He had just the right qualities in his personality that you look for when adopting any cat. He was affectionate, friendly, playful, energetic, and he loved to sit on your shoulder while you walked around the house. He was perfect. Until he went blind. And then wouldn't stop drooling. And started hitting his head a lot. And he stopped growing.

We took him in to the vet yesterday to be neutered, but they were unable to do the surgery because he was too small. The vet said he was supposed to be 5 lbs at his age, but he only weighed in at 2 lbs. Other than that, Fezzie was given a clean bill of health. But a couple of hours after being home, he thew up all over himself and fell unconscious onto the floor. We rushed him to the emergency animal clinic, where the vet said that something was seriously wrong with him. They put him on IV's and fluids, but it was determined this morning that he had a congenital disease, most likely liver shunts. The vet said we could wait it out, and he would die, or we could just put him down now.

I am angry at the animal shelter for giving us a cat that had health problems. It should have been a red flag when they gave us a cat that had ear mites. (Should an animal shelter give away ANY pet that has a health problem, even if it is something as simple as ear mites? It seems wrong to me.) I am even more angry at the veterinarian's office where we took Fezzie, and even though on multiple occasions we complained about ALL of these symptoms (the head banging, the drooling, the fact that he wasn't getting bigger, etc), AND about how after two rounds of medication AND a shot, his ear mites still would not go away. (Red flags? Anyone?) they blew it off as being nothing to worry about.

According to the office where we brought him last night, ALL of these symptoms point to liver shunts.

I was hoping to get back into the swing of things with my art, but that may not happen as soon as I wanted. I really can't stop thinking that something is very fishy about the whole situation with my kitten. I can't get it out of my head. I really miss my little baby fezzie.